There was a time when my wife and I would race through Heathrow with the grace and aplomb of a seasoned world traveler. No searches at security because we knew what we’d packed, then a quick trip to Duty Free before a lightening dash through the gormless masses before reaching the haven of the BA lounge.
Small tasty nibbles and a glass of something sparkling until ten minutes to departure and then we reach the gate and all was well.
Then we moved to Lymington, our beloved, rather sleepy Georgian town by the sea. As noisy as a Benedictine rave and as crowded as Victoria Station during a rail strike. In Lymington a traffic jam is if the car in front has to apply it’s brakes.
So imagine us, country bumpkins, in Terminal 5 last week. There seemed to be tens of thousands of angry,sweaty,unhappy families all trying to stop one of their offspring from dropping their teddy bear or putting their fingers into machinery.
Then the noise. Having poked my head out of the BA Lounge to buy headphones, I was assaulted by shouting families, derricking parties of identically dressed Dutch basketball players and to cap it off a piper started playing the bagpipes to promote Loch Adele or some other fatuous fashion whisky. So I nip into Dixons who had every piece of equipment capable of making a sound turned up to eleven. And to cap it all the security alarm went off.
I grabbed my purchase and made speedy retreat to the BA Lounge.
So what is the solution? I think Elly and I will have to make monthly trips to London and ride the Circle line at rush hours just to get our eye in again.
By the way I hear there are road works on the A337 towards Milford on Sea. That will add at least 60 seconds to my journey time. Shocking really.