Like many people I despair of some of the television program’s that fill our multi-channel lives. When time on the schedule was limited and therefore somewhat precious, program controllers tried to give us a selection of quality programs. Now they seem to be content with just filling the infinite number of channels with weird, low cost nonsense.
Imagine a scene in a commissioning editors office:
Jerry (50 year old ex BBC commissioning editor, long in experience and Shiraz): So young Timothy what new shows have you commissioned recently?
Timothy (22 year old media studies graduate from Penge University): Hey chief, I’ve got some real winners this month.
Jerry: Well Timmy, give me your highlights
Timothy: I’ve just signed up a pilot of Carpentry Challenge
Jerry: What The hell is that?
Timothy: Well sir, sales of hammers are up 4% so people are interested in carpentry
Jerry:No Tim people are interested in DIY not carpentry. People buy hemeroid cream but we don’t want to do a show about dingle berries
Timothy: Wow sir, what an idea. ‘The worlds largest anal grapes’ or what about ‘I’m still standing’
Jerry: you’re a mad but what other delusional program’s have you squandered our money on
Timothy: I’m loving My Fat Gypsey wedding, so have just bought Fat Drunk Gypseys on Ice
Jerry: Fabulous, a sure fire winner amongst the seven chavs who will watch It
Timothy: Ok I’ve got a massive winner. Ive just signed the sequel to The Woman with Four Breasts…..The Boy with Five Penises…..yeah one more….do you see?
Jerry: oh God
Timothy: And my season highlight is a killer, ‘Drunk in Ibiza’ where an amateur camera crew follow drunk tourists with a prize for the best peojectile vomit on the show.
Jerry: Time I called my agent