Everything I learnt about marketing from a plank of wood. Part two

I wrote about the Roasting Plank Company last summer and their genius marketing wheeze of selling people small planks of wood to barbecue food on. Genius in that the margin is over 2000% and the product has to be replaced every three uses.

These marketing gods have now gone one better. Roasting wood paper. Even Apple with their obscenely overpriced iPad2 cases can’t touch these guys. The idea is you soak the thin sheets of wood in wine/spirits and wrap food in it and you guessed it pop it on the barbie, with the inevitable result that follows when you mix wood and fire. What is so unutterably brilliant is they have found a way to triple or quadruple the margin they were making on iPlank 1.0. Rather than selling boring old planks for £9.99 they can shave these into 30-40 sheets and sell ten packs of the wood paper for £9.99 each. Ca-Ching went the cash register. What’s even more outstanding is you remove that tedious repurchase delay as the product is ‘consumed’ at each use.

Imagine going to a company and saying “Take a virtually free resource that’s been sitting around for a few hundred years and sell it as a life style choice” they would say “It is time had one of your nice blue pills”. And I’d say “OK Monsieur Evian”

So let’s put the Roasting Plank Company in charge of UK exports. We’ll have such a balance of payments surplus we can have free boob jobs on the NHS, one teacher per child and free books for pensioners

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