Most of us have this romantic notion that hand made food is better than the supermarket alternative. But in our hearts we know this isn’t true. Take the pasta machine craze of the 1990’s. I joined the bandwagon myself and got one of these and spent about four hours making three colour tagliatelli (white, tomato and spinach) with a handmade tomato and basil sauce. Fabulous, but after four hours preparation my guests ate it in about four minutes. I was a exhausted, sweaty mess.
Then take bread makers, which are owned only by men, who think it is their genetic birthright to make bread in a machine. It is the same psychological mindset as barbecue but the results are even less impressive. i recently had some home made bread at a friend’s and it was brought out with the same reverence as if he had given birth to it. It was, at best, OK. Imagine fibreboard dipped in peanut butter.
Lastly and my own shame is an ice machines. When I lived in New York for a short while, we had a wonderful ice making machine built into our freezer. It was plumbed in and made decent sized ice cubes automatically, silently and forever. Then I bought a desktop version for my home that sounds like a jack hammer and smells like a old diesel truck. It clatters away for hours, so loud that I’ve locked it in the utility room, and I can still hear it in my sleep. It cost over £140 and makes about a half a kilo of ice every eight hours. Waitrose on the other hand sells 2kg bags for under 99p. So if I can tolerate the noise I’ll break even in just under 5 years assuming I don’t lose my hearing or sanity in the meantime.
So let’s give up. I’ll admit to to Elly that the ice machine is going to the landfill and you lot go back to the supermarket and buy some decent pasta or bread and save yourself half a day of grief.