I used to think AA Gill was a witty, urbane and cultured writer but his narcissistic clap trap is driving me crazy. I saw his review of Kitchen W8 and leapt in with gusto. 1347 gorgeous words or so I though. 896 words on and no mention of the restaurant that was supposed to be the focus of the review. So two thirds in and not a word, mention or sniff of the reason why I am reading the piece in the first place. Then hurrah at 896 words in there it is a mention of the restaurant in question. I’m now anticipating silken prose about the food, the wine, the service and the ambiance. Sadly this doesn’t happen until 155 words before the end.
Let’s pause for a moment here, food fans. So far, 90% of this article has been about Mr Gill, his love of language, his family, the fad of restaurant naming and nothing about the actual restaurant in the review. This receives 155 words. I repeat 155 words. That twice the length of the Lord’s Prayer. It’s nothing.
So a tip for all you prima donna, pretentious restaurant reviewers. Stick to the day job, and review the f’ing restaurants. If you want to read a decent review in the Times read Giles Coren but even he spends 1045 words looking up his fundament before he starts his review.