I’ve been thinking of buying a new watch. Nothing special, just something to replace my 15 year old Seiko. So I went to the Seiko web site and oh my God, I was faced with a series of choices so bizarre that I was left speechless. Image going to a supermarket and the isles were labeled like the seven dwarves; salty,smelly,sticky,crunchy,yummy,gulpy and delicious. This would make more sense than the total hogwash on http://www.seiko.co.uk.
If supermarkets classified all their products by colour, price or even smell it would make more sense than the nonsense on the Seiko site. I’ll go further, even if Sainsbury’s classified all their products as contained in paper or metal it would be easier than this pure cack.
So how bad is the Seiko web site? Click on the products link and here is what you get.
Ananta – No ideas what this means. Sounds like a singer from ABBA. Could this be a range of arctic watches or a watch designed to match your mad IKEA bookcase of the same name.
Sportura – Probably a sports watch but what the hell is the ‘ura’ ending. Like crapura or shitura – still means nothing.
Velature – total blank. Maybe a cross between velcro and adventure? Maybe if you like to swim the Amazon in a velcro watch this is the product for you.
Arctura – another arctic watch possibly. Maybe a watch for architects or people who like arches.
Premier – The good ones. But how are they different from Arctura or even the legendary Velature.
Courtura – This may be the fashion watches or the lawyers watches – to be used in court (ura)
Other Seiko Watches – the other shit we make that we can’t even be bothered to classify
So come on now brand owners, think about us poor customers. I want to buy a watch, not some stupid definition you designed. Let us buy what we want.