The days are ticking down now. The schools have almost broken up. The Mums in their ridiculous Chelsea tractors have almost retreated to Tuscany and London is about to enjoy 6 weeks of heaven. If you live in Hartford, Havering or Hull – you think that London is a perpetual traffic nightmare. You imagine gridlock and satanic traffic wardens, congestion charging and hooligans in white vans who want to eat your babies. Most of this is true, apart from a small window in July and August when London become a paradise for locals.
From mid-July to the end of August it feels like 60% of the cars go away. The weekends are like London over New Year. You can drive where you want, park where you want and enjoy the world’s most fabulous city in any way you want. It is a paradise for us locals, the tubes and buses are full of tourists holding maps upside down but above-ground real Londoners are having post prandial brunches with lovers, catching cheeky mid-afternoon Mimosas, shopping at Jo Malone’s without a 40 minutes walk to their car, having a pint at the Dove without a scrum at the bar.
So let’s raise a glass, order an Eggs Benedict and revel in the small still time of calm when we reclaim our City. To the rest of you. London is closed. Please go away and we’ll see you September.