When your self loathing is complete, buy a G-Wiz

I’m not an eco-hater.  I recycle like no one’s business and have a honorary membership of the recycling centre.  I bio-degrade with the best of them but I believe there is a line you mustn’t cross.  If you’ve reached that point when you think switching to 12W low energy bulbs is both ecologically sound and can light a normal room or you think that dehydrated soya Beanfeast is a moral statement, you’re ready for a G-Wiz because you’ve lost all self-respect.

 The G-Wiz has a name straight from a 1960’s US children’s TV show, so why not call it the ‘Golly Jinky’ or the ‘Shucks That’s Cute’.  Nowadays, it should be called the Kool or the Awsom3 (in honour of text speak.)  But G-Wiz it is.  The problem isn’t that it is electric, after all there is the Tesla an all electric supercar that looks like a TVR, goes like a TVR and costs about the same as a Porche.  The G-Wiz performs like a Sinclair C5 but looks like an invalid car.  I don’t care how green you are because unless you are an estate agent or an selling door-to-door food supplements, you must never own this car.  It worse than having a normal car with a sticker that says ‘Princess on Board’ or ‘No sex before marriage’, it marks you out as a freak, a looney or some one so devoid of taste as to not be allowed out in normal society.  If you own a G-Wiz, don’t be smug; because you look like a ecologist pretending to be disabled.  If you don’t and are worried about  the environment, take 5 buses and then a taxi when you need to impress.

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3 thoughts on “When your self loathing is complete, buy a G-Wiz”

  1. If they did a convertable and took the seats out I’m sure I could crowbar myself in. In fact a convertable might look almost normal

  2. Seems you’re very caught up on image, Mark. I drive a Reva and I love to take the piss with it. If my self respect is worth 2 grand on fuel each year then so be it.

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