The Incompleat Angler

Compleat Angler, Marlow

Progress means you can say goodbye to things that were once  a hideous part of day-to-day life, like children chimney sweeps, the Bay City Rollers and British Rail sandwiches. Or so I thought.  Today I had the day off and as the sun was threatening to shine for a few minutes Elly and I decided to head off to Henley for lunch.  SatNavs being what they are we abandoned ship in Marlow and decided to pay a return visit to the Compleat Angler.

We sat on the lawn by the Thames and had a drink and some fine smoked almonds.  Fine in that the kitchen monkeys only had to open a tin.  The young waiter was trained in the old British art of non-service and when 30 minutes later he took our order he informed us that the kitchens had closed. I mean, my God, it was 1.40pm on a weekday and he wasn’t having any of our foreign, late-lunching nonsense.  He was put right and trotted off to beg the chef to make a cheese sandwich and beef one.  We’re not talking anything too challenging here and I doubt Heston Blumenthal would be in a lather.

The sandwiches came and were as grossly dreadful as I’ve had outside a station buffet in Doncaster.  Dry, mean-spirited, pap served on Bouncy White or what ever passes as bread at the local Aldi.    The garnish (slurry) of coleslaw would have made an American weep but compared to the homemade, raw, cold chips it was edible.  The bill for this symphony of excrement including one tea and one Coke was just over £22.

If in Marlow, go to M&S but a few rounds of their finest and sit in the churchyard facing the Complete Tangler (sp) and laugh at the chumps who are wasting their cash on such rubbish.


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