I think that rather than a Citizenship test for asylum seekers they should make them listen to the weather forecast and then accurately tell you the weather where they live. Not a chance. The Radio 4 lunchtime weather forecast is a masterclass in non-delivery and misinformation architecture. It’s the audio equivalent of Craig’s List. Everything is dumped into your brain with the same flat tonality and the fourseconds you’re interested in is smothered by complete irrelevance. Do I care about the weather in the Hebrides? Probably once in forty years when I go there and even then I’ll use the web.
No the daily weather is about where I live so let the BBC deliver it in a sensible fashion. My problem is I start concentrating like a proctology examination and I lose interest in a maelstrom of meaningless words and places. The North East will slightly damp with snow and scattered sunny spells turning foggy with occasional sunshine at night. Wales will be very weather with longer spells and a 40% chance of skies.
I want regional weather forecasts and we are in the digital age so DAB makes this possible. Two bulletins one each side of the news. Begin with something loud – music or the sound of ambulance to get the drivers to slow down and listen. Then something like this “The weather forecast for London. Friday shorts, Saturday barbecue, Sunday watch a DVD or take a coat”