The saddest restaurant in the world?

What is it about Pizza Express on a Sunday. In Chelsea and Fulham (and no doubt the rest of London) Pizza Express is full of late 30’s/early 40’s men surrounded by morose kids eating joyless pizzas.

This lead me to a thought. Is it that all divorced men in London have no imagination or all kids love pizza. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle. Middle aged divorcées love their kids I imagine, but they are also desperately trying to find a horny young secretary so do they assume that Pizza Express will work for both requirements. “Oh look at that lovely single Dad he must be great in the sack”. The reality is that the only single women at PE on a Sunday are divorced women who hate men, having just got rid of their latest bastard/husband and would probably prefer a gift hamper from Ann Summers and a pint of Baileys to anything these sad sods could offer.

So what is the solution? A new menu based on the taste and needs of the various audiences, namely divorced Dads, recently divorced Mums and displaced kids.

For Dads

Stallion – Oysters chili, steak, broken grass, Viagra
Metrosexual- organic vegetables, green tea

For Mums

Rabbit – Oysters, sushi, Chardonnay
Bridget – Chocolate, ice-cream, marshmallows, Chardonnay, Silk Cut

For Kids

Mum – Ice cream, chocolate, fudge marshmallow, toffee,

Dad – Ice cream, chocolate, fudge marshmallow, toffee,

The rest of us can get on with the real menus. American Hot with extra mushroom!


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